Friday, January 22, 2010

Sittin' In The Dark Of The Day

Apologies to Otis Redding and his "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay", but it is once again dark and gloomy here. I feel as tho' I'm living in a version of "Wuthering Heights". The lack of sunshine is taking its toll on my psyche.

I had another post all thought out, then last night when I was still awake until 3 a.m. I began running other post titles thru my mind. All of them related to the fact that it has been depressing weather around here for way too long. "My Mojo is No-Go" was my favorite blog title from last night. Others that wouldn't have made the cut were, "The Sun Never Rises", " A Little Gin with your ICE, Madam?", "This is your body speaking, what the hell are you doing?", "Is Gray really a color?" All of this dull, dreary, brown, gray, cloudy, cold, snowy, icy and just generally crappy weather has left me feeling simply unwilling to get my act together in the health and happiness department.

I exercise just a dab each day, so I can say I did something. I've been cheating on the foods I eat....writing down that which I remember, forgetting (kinda) what I don't want to admit to. I don't eat stuff that is really bad, I just eat a bit more than is reasonable. It has been just awful. I feel lousy. I am also getting tired of hearing my little inner voice telling me to quit being such a baby, suck it up, and get on the ball. I have told myself I have to quit using my bad knee as an excuse to do less and less every day. I had hoped that last night's epiphany would find me all revved up this morning, but so far, not so much. I'm waiting for my next "Ah Ha?" moment to occur. The most depressing part of the whole thing is that it has been almost 1 year since I began my blog and I've really made progress, then shot myself in the foot and began all over again.....twice!!

Generally speaking, I am one of the most stubborn people on the planet. I can do anything I set my mind to. Five years ago I gave up smoking, gained 40# and knew I could get that weight off when I set my mind to it. Soooooo, the big question is, "When the hell am I gonna set my mind to it?" After my beginning efforts last year, I lost 16 pounds. Then I fell off the wagon when I hit a plateau. A few weeks ago I got back on the wagon and lost 9 pounds which were part of the original 16 I'd lost earlier. This week, I stayed even with the weigh in numbers on Wednesday. Today, I stepped on the scales (even tho' I normally would wait until next Wed.) because I felt go guilty about yesterday's assault on the pantry. It would seem that I've added back 3# in one day!!! Is that really possible? Given my activity level at the moment, I'd say yes.

So, I'm undergoing a crisis of conscience. Can I make myself straighten up and fly right? I am certainly hoping so. I'm happy to say that we are eating healthier and doing well, food wise. Hubby Dearest has stayed with his 3 day cardio routine, but I am floundering. Any ideas? I'd welcome a swift kick in my butt to get this balloon off the ground again.


  1. Vraz - When I stopped blogging - it had nothing to do with stopping Low Carb. All that time I kept on with no glitches.
    No, it is not possible to gain three pounds in a day. Is it? Maybe if you stand on the scale with a glass of water in your hand....
    The point is, those scales LIE. And right now, you seem to be listening to that part of your brain that goes around talking smack all day...LIES!!
    Don't listen to it! Think about something else until the sh!t storm passes. You are doing fine!

  2. I agree, no way you gained 3 pounds in one day. You have the winter blahs, we all get it. Hard part is working through it. And yes, scales lie, very badly sometimes. A tape measure is more accurate anyways. We somehow need to get the number out of our heads, it only makes it more depressing. Keep chugging away, and don't quit, get off your hiney and get in some cardio. 3o minutes is good, no excuses. :)

  3. Ok, the only thing I'm going to say is this.....It sounds to me as if you are sitting on the fence. Not really off track, but not really willing to do what is right. Soooooo you need to think about where you want to be and figure out which side of the fence you want to be on! Remember why you started this journey. Did you do it for health? Did you do it to have a smokin' hot body? Fit into a special outfit? To live longer? All of the above? Remember and if those things are still important to you, jump to that side of the fence!!!!!

    Ok, I'm off my bandwagon now! By the way...I LOVED your alternate post titles!

  4. Start back with the basics. What was your motivation to lose before; once you have sight of that again, perhaps the rest will fall into place a little more.

  5. Sometimes the journey to weight loss seems so long and so hard!! Maybe just breaking it down into babysteps might help?? I personally find that sometimes i need to take a week off and that sometimes seems to be enough to give me a push forward! Do whatever you need to do for you, but know we're all here for you!!

  6. I've always thought it was especially cruel that immediately after the excesses of the holidays, the world turns so bleak and dreary that it's all you can do to get out of the bed in the mornings, much less be all peppy and driven to work out.

    I think MaryFran may be on to something. Perhaps it's time to revisit your "reasons why" you want to lose weight. Find whatever it is in that list that is MORE important than what you're doing now.

    And no, unless the assault on the pantry was 10,500 calories worth, then you didn't gain 3 pounds in a single day.

  7. Sorry you're going through a rough patch, V. I feel your pain. And 3 pounds in a day? That can't be right. I wish I had some solutions to offer - it's so hard to stay the course when the results aren't happening like they should. Hang in there - it sounds like you're due for some good news soon.

  8. I hope you get a little sun soon. I think that makes a world of difference. So much good advice here that I don't have much to add. Just take it a meal at a time and try to get some movement in. Put on some music and dance!


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